How to Develop a Stronger Sense of Self

Confidence is one of the key factors to succeed in life. There’s a saying that success follows confidence, and while that might not paint the whole picture, it does give you an idea of what being confident can mean. It simply means that being confident can help you in life, as you feel more empowered and encouraged to go out and achieve what you want. To help you develop that sense of confidence and sense of self, here are a few tips to get you started.

Practice Active Listening

One of the more important skills that a lot of people overlook is the ability to listen. Oftentimes, we’d like to express our opinion and be heard, but how often do we actually listen to others? When we take the time to hear and understand what other people have to say, not only do we get to know them better, but we also make them feel more important. On many occasions, especially at work, people tend to respect those who take them more seriously than those who merely have small talk.

Hear Out Everyone (Not Just Your Peers)

Now that you’re more aware of the importance of listening, you also have to remember that this applies to everyone. Normally, we feel more comfortable listening to people of importance, maybe because we feel that their words have more weight and credibility. But this is not always the case, and this way of thinking can hurt you more because you could be brushing off others just from the assumption that they’re not as important. For one, it’s quite pretentious and for another, most people aren’t impressed by this false sense of importance and confidence. On the contrary, people feel more irritated or awkward if they see you being snobbish.

Put Away Your Phone


People nowadays spend too much time glued to their phones. This isn’t just a matter of habit or addiction either- many of the things that we require to function in our everyday lives are contained within our phones. But learning when to put it down is very helpful when it comes to your overall mental clarity.

For one, it helps you stay away from social media which is always a fountain of insecurity and self-doubt. Secondly, it helps you get better sleep at night, making your mornings feel better. And finally, it teaches you to face the real world with your eyes and your mind facing forward.

Practice Selflessness

A charismatic and confident person does not have to go out of their way to make everyone notice them. By doing good deeds and giving more to others, we are better remembered. However, remember that the goal is not to please everybody. The idea is to give without asking or expecting anything in return. The less you expect from others, the less disappointed you end up. Besides, giving for the sake of giving can be pretty fulfilling on its own. And this sense of fulfillment can help boost your sense of self.

You’re Not Above Others

True confidence is knowing where your value lies and knowing where other people’s value lies. And it’s not a pissing contest to find out whose value is higher. It’s the understanding that you’re not above others, you’re not standing on higher ground. Understand that we’re all just people trying to get by, and everyone you meet is equal to you. In the same light, make an effort to help others become better versions of themselves. Instead of looking down on a beginner for not knowing what you know, share your knowledge with them and help them reach your level.

Change the Way You Preface and Frame Yourself

woman looking out

Whenever we look at ourselves, we often shy away from our flaws and make excuses for ourselves. But this is what you need to change: you need to be able to look in the mirror and acknowledge what you need to work on or to fix. This can range from personal habits and tics that you need to improve. Or even something physical, like needing a fitness coach to help manage your weight or getting shockwave therapy to combat erectile dysfunction. These are things you need to be able to admit to yourself because that’s always the first step to fixing the issue. 

Your self-image and confidence greatly come from within. What you repeat to yourself and how you view yourself are some factors. But apart from those intrinsic practices, your conscious and active efforts to be a better person will also contribute to your development. If you practice healthy thoughts and actions, you’ll be leaps ahead of those who “fake it till they make it.”

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